Month: October 2013

Flakiness Is Never In Style

I sometimes feel the need to post about things that have nothing to do with fashion, and today is one of those times.

Throughout my entire life, one of my biggest pet-peeves, for lack of a better word, is when people flake out. I don’t mean those times where a friend cancels last minute because of an emergency or mix-up. Those times are understandable, and everyone has them. As long as you give me a real reason, I don’t see any problem in canceling plans. However, for some reason or another, I’ve experienced so many instances of un-called-for, flat-out flakiness, I’m starting to wonder if I just attract those kinds of people. I’ve been told before that it might actually be the case, because people feel like I’m too laid back or nice to get upset when they flake out. Well, for anybody else who fits that description out there, I’d like say, just because we’re nice doesn’t mean you can leave us hanging with no good reason!

I know a lot of my family and friends have been experiencing this too recently, and I’ve been really struggling to understand why people do this. I’ve heard all the reasons – they think if they say no they’d hurt people’s feelings; they forgot; their phone died – and honestly, they’re all a load of B.S. People gotta realize that it hurts more to be totally disrespected than to be honestly told no. If you forget, or your phone dies, then you call, text or e-mail the next day to apologize. It’s all about common courtesy people. I would personally feel horrible telling someone I was coming to their party, dinner, whatever, and then didn’t show up, call or text why. For whatever reason, I’ve had my fair share of friends who constantly did this and I learned something important from those people – if they continue on like that, even after you’ve tried to talk about it, they aren’t really your friend. It took me a long time to realize, but some wise words from a wise man helped me get there:

Whatever reasons constantly flakey people have for being that way are their own issues, and it isn’t about you.

I always used to get upset about it, because I always try hard and go out of my way to be a good friend, even to people I’m not that close with, so being flaked-out on can feel like a personal offense. However, this isn’t a helpful way to think about things, as I’m learning. Just because I go out of my way to do nice things for people, doesn’t mean I should expect anything in return. Being kind should be something people do regardless of whatever appreciation they get in return. I am writing about this because recently I’ve been learning these hard lessons that I think most people experience through their life. Everyone has the friend who you only see because you’re the one reaching out to them. Everyone encounters people who tell you they’ll be there, and then never show up and never explain why. These can be hard blows and there isn’t really any getting around that, but it doesn’t mean those people out there who always go the extra mile to be a good friend should stop being good. It means the total opposite! I’m beginning to realize, that as easy as it would be to just put up a wall, the more times I’m flaked out on, the more I want to be the opposite of a flake.

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Recently something happened where I seriously questioned whether there even are solid, non-flakey people out there who appreciate their friendships. I know those people are out there and I’m lucky enough to have a few in my life, but as I was struggling to try and figure out what lesson or message I was supposed to learn from this I realized a few things:

1) Sometimes people are rude, inconsiderate or mean for no (good) reason, and you just have to learn to brush it off.

2) Sometimes people are rude, inconsiderate or mean for reasons that have nothing to do with you, and you just have to learn to brush it off.

3) Mean, inconsiderate and rude people should just inspire you to be that much nicer.

4) If a majority of people in your life at any given time seem to be flakey, use the frustration as motivation to find people who aren’t like that.

5) You can’t rely on other people for your own happiness. If you’re happy with yourself, you’ll always find happiness with the people who matter.

6) Showing gratitude once a day can increase your personal happiness, so tell the people you’re grateful for that you appreciate them!

This post had nothing to do with fashion or style, but I hope it speaks to anyone who has been flaked on, or who has been a flake. PS: stylebandits never flake on friends 🙂

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Beetlejuice Pants

I’ve talked about this many times before, but I think it is one of the most important things to remember about style, so I’m gonna talk about it some more – there shouldn’t be rules in fashion. Finding your own personal style is about discovering what you like, what looks good on you and what doesn’t, and the only way to do that is to try new things all the time. Personal style and preferences can change and I think they should. For me, my style changes on the daily. One day, I may be super into the boho thing. The next I may edge-it-up. Another day I might combine the two, and other days I’m tired so my style is yoga pants and Uggs.

The point is, style is something very personal. It is a way to express yourself, so don’t worry about other people’s opinions all the time. If you have a crazy pair of pants that make you feel good and you can wear them with confidence, you strut your stuff in those crazy pants!

Recently, I bought myself a pair of crazy pants and was struggling trying to decide if I liked them or not. I decided to wear them one day, sort of to test drive them, and I asked my mom what she thought. She said they looked like Beetlejuice pants. I was running late, so I kept them on anyway.

Later on, my hairdresser said she loved my pants and even later on, so did my dad! Just goes to show opinions are everywhere, so the only one that ever really matters (when it comes to style at least) is yours.

These pants aren’t going to be a staple in my wardrobe, but my test drive was a fun little experiment. Plus, my mom and I came up with some great possible halloween costumes.

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Necklace, Top & Pants: Forever21

Boots: Primark (UK & Europe only, for now)

Bag: Free People

Do you have a crazy item of clothing that you love?

Sephora Haul!

Hi there!

I am so excited to share with you some amazing new makeup that I just recently purchased. I’ve always pretty much been a no-makeup kinda gal – it takes too much time, etc, etc… but recently I’ve discovered how much I actually really like it. One of the reasons I love fashion is because it is just another way to express myself artistically. I’m realizing that makeup is the same thing. Its like painting, only on your face!

Anyway, today I’m going to do a review of some of my new & old favorite products.

The first thing is going to be the hyped up GLAMGLOW Tingling & Exfoliating Mud Mask. I had seen (almost) nothing but rave reviews about this stuff, so I decided I had to try it out.

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First impressions are important!

The packaging is pretty cute & I like that this edition is pink to support Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

I will say, I was a little bit shocked upon opening the packaging to find how small the jar is. For the price of this baby, I will be using it very sparingly.

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Despite the initial sticker-shock-to-size-ratio, this is one of those masks that you can tell is definitely working on your skin. The minute I applied it, my skin was crazy with tingles. The mask is described as a “10 minute facial in a jar” and it is indeed that. I washed it off after about 10 minutes and my skin still feels amazing. It looks and feels so clear.

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Conclusion: it will be difficult to ration this stuff, because I really love it. Self control. I can do it.

Next up are my little samples that I got for free! They are Flash (perfume) by Jimmy Choo, Smashbox Liquid Halo HD Foundation & Guerlain Lingerie De Peau Invisible Skin Fusion Foundation.

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The perfume is nice. I usually like very floral, citrusy and girly scents. My current favorite is Sugar Lemon by Fresh. Flash is a little bit mysterious, but still very girly. I like it, plus it came in that cute little sparkly folder.

The Liquid Halo Foundation was too drying for my skin, so I won’t bother with that one. HOWEVER, Smashbox’s color correcting primer is amazing. I have very dry skin & my cheeks are always pink/red, so I use their green primer and it is magical.

Because of my dry skin, I really don’t use foundation. I find it always makes my skin look flaky, but I was pleasantly surprised with the Lingerie De Peau. It really gave a flawlessness to my skin that I loved. Again, because of my red/pink undertones, I would usually go for a yellow-based foundation – greens and yellows counterbalance red skin. I’m not sure what undertones this one has, but the color looked good. If I bought this, I would probably go a shade darker.

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My face after applying the Lingerie De Peau. In this photo I also have on a little bit of Hourglass Ambient Light Palette. This palette is a limited edition version of their popular Ambient Light powders and I’m pretty obsessed with it. They are finishing powders that are meant to recreate the effect dim, incandescent and radiant light have on the skin. You know when you’re at a dimly or candle-lit restaurant and everybody’s skin looks flawless? You basically are getting that from this palette. So, if you’ve been thinking about maybe getting this product, do it! It’s limited edition, so it will be selling out fast. 

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From left-to-right I believe it is: Dim, Incandescent & Radiant.

This palette also comes with a little sample of their mineral primer, so its a pretty good deal.

Last is Too Faced Secret To No Makeup Palette. I always like their palettes because they include little booklets that show you how to use the makeup to create different looks. I like this one in particular because of how natural it is. I only like makeup that is easy & doesn’t actually look like makeup on. It should just enhance my skin, you know? I think this palette does a pretty good job of that. Plus, look how pretty it is (in case it hasn’t become clear enough already, I am a sucker for pretty packaging).

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The palette comes with bronzer, creme blush, powder blush, concealer, luminizer & brightener. I have pretty fair skin, so the bronzer definitely shows up, but it isn’t too dark, which is good for us pale gals out there. The concealer was okay – pretty liquidy – and worked just fine for covering two tiny blemishes. The luminizer, which I applied along my brow bones, is a tad shimmery. It doesn’t show up much, which I guess is good because you can build it up if you need more. I would rather have a weak luminizer than stripes of sparkles all over my face. The brightener is pretty bright, so I’d be careful and apply only a little bit to dark spots. Lastly, both blushes are cotton-candy pink and look very pretty if swiped on gently. I tend to steer clear of pink or red because my cheeks naturally got enough of that, thank you very much, but with my green primer these can definitely work.

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Left to right: bronzer, creme blush, powder blush, luminizer

Bottom: brightener

Top: concealer

I hope you found this review helpful!

What are your go-to products that you find yourself re-purchasing over and over?

Falling in Love with Fall

I love fall. Every time it rolls around – with its orange and red leaves, decorated porches, pumpkin spice everything – I feel so cozy and happy. And then there is Halloween. Don’t even get me started on Halloween. I LOVE Halloween. Maybe its because my last year of college is really like having to face a big ugly bully every day, but this fall has been like a source of comfort somehow. I’m hoping it will help reinvigorate me for the rest of this semester!

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Recently, my boyfriend, best friend and I went apple & pumpkin picking. I’ve never had so many apples in my life, but let me tell you about these particular apples – they could have literally been picked straight out of Snow White. They were so damn good (my bff will vouch for this). Anyway, I was so excited and overtaken by all the wonderful fall-ness, that when we came back home I actually attempted to make apple cider from scratch. I used about eight apples, an orange, cinnamon, all spice, some pumpkin spice tea, lemon juice and honey whiskey. You throw everything into a big pan, cover it all with water and let it boil down (strain when done). It took between 1-2 hours and it tasted AMAZING. I was very happily surprised. If you’re in need of some Autumn comfort, try making this yourself! Not only does it taste fab, but you’ll also feel awesome for making your own cider.

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Wow, reliving this cider might be making me drool a little, but moving on.

One of the other reasons I love fall so much is the fact that I can bust out my boot collection! I’m a boot-aholic and not ashamed to say it. My feet are famous for ALWAYS having blisters (I think its because I’m like the Goldie Locks of shoes – everything is either too big or too small), but boots are my go-to comfortable footwear. I also love fall colors. My favorites this season are maroons and brownish-purples (see my nails)! Something I’m really into lately has been mixing girly elements with more edgy or masculine pieces, like my outfit below.

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Top: LF

Necklace: Chloe & Isabel

Pants: Topshop

Boots: Joe Fresh

How do you like to enjoy this time of year?

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Enough is Enough

Hi everybody! First off, let me apologize for being MIA for so long. School’s started up again and I’ve been crazy busy (grad school applications, starting a club on campus, you know, just generally trying to figure out life). I’m hoping to get back on my blogging game when I have the time, and this post is the perfect way to start up again.

Recently, I’ve been noticing the insane amount of articles being released about “20 Things 20-Somethings Need To Know,” or “20 Things Never To Ask a 20-Something Year Old.” Being a part of this new hot-topic age group, I would like to respond to the people writing and publishing these articles. STOP, PLEASE. I read an article published in Cosmo that actually made the steam shoot out of my ears – the author Anna Breslaw, rattles of the “20 Mistakes Every Woman Makes in Their Twenties.”

First of all, generalizations like that are never cool, Anna.

Second of all, if you’re going to write an advice article for “every woman in their twenties,” you might want to check the condescending attitude at the door.

Third of all, these aren’t tips for twenty-somethings, these are tips anyone at any age can use. I know my fare share of non-twenty-somethings that will happily drop $14 on an “artisanal omelet.”

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Fourth, what makes it okay to broadly assume that every 20-something who is spending time in a long-term committed relationship is making a mistake? I hear this from friends and family, and now I’m also hearing it from the magazines and publications I used to enjoy? This is simply just not okay. I’m a firm believer that people need to keep their opinions to themselves and their assumptions firmly planted outside of others’ relationships. Sure, if somebody is in a dangerous (physically or mentally) relationship, it may be the right thing to step in. But if your friend or sister or brother or whoever, seems happy, there is no reason to judge their relationship and deem it a mistake just because they are a twenty-something. Some twenty-somethings may be old souls who understand more about themselves and what they need from a relationship than any fifty-year old ever will. Other twenty-somethings may be too immature for a long-term relationship, but that’s their own problem to sort out on their own time. None of us twenty-somethings need a snobby Cosmo writer to tell us that we’re doing it wrong, especially when the basis of their argument is that “Before you settle down, you gotta get some strange. To truly appreciate the good men, you have to road test the bad ones.” I wasn’t aware there was a time limit for when it is considered acceptable to find our “good men,” because it seems like a pretty dumb idea to toss them back into the pool just because were twenty and a better one might come along. If you’ve found an honestly good partner that makes you laugh and smile on the daily, DO NOT give them up just because you’re young. I could honestly go on forever on this particular point because I take personal offense, but I will end this gripe by pointing out, wasn’t it Cosmo that declared 25 to be the perfect age to get married? Now they’re telling me I’m making a mistake by being in a serious relationship during my twenties. I’m confused… how does Cosmo expect me to get married in four years, if they also want me to dump my boyfriend and “road test” all the bad guys out there? I’d rather know the person I’m going to end up with for ten years, that way when we say “I do,” we’ll know it will last because we’ve already made it through our “terrible twenties” together. So, thanks for that relationship advice Cosmo, but I think I’ll pass.

Finally, since when is “twenty-something” a category to shove everybody within that age range into? When you title an article something like “Ten Things Every Woman Should Know By 21,” you’re honestly discrediting the diversity of us twenty-somethings and the wide range of life experiences we all have. You just look dumb, so do us all a favor and cut it out. I know this was a long and crazy rant to enter back into the blogosphere with, but the number of these articles that are out there pushing a negative image on us twenty-somethings is pretty infuriating. I’m 21, (almost 22, yikes), and I’m figuring out my life the way I want to figure it out. I’ve learned that when you ask for advice, you can’t expect to always hear what you want; sometimes you’ll get pearls of wisdom, but other times, you can get as much advice in the world, but you’ll still end up doing what your gut or heart tells you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter, so sound off in the comments below!