Hi everybody! First off, let me apologize for being MIA for so long. School’s started up again and I’ve been crazy busy (grad school applications, starting a club on campus, you know, just generally trying to figure out life). I’m hoping to get back on my blogging game when I have the time, and this post is the perfect way to start up again.
Recently, I’ve been noticing the insane amount of articles being released about “20 Things 20-Somethings Need To Know,” or “20 Things Never To Ask a 20-Something Year Old.” Being a part of this new hot-topic age group, I would like to respond to the people writing and publishing these articles. STOP, PLEASE. I read an article published in Cosmo that actually made the steam shoot out of my ears – the author Anna Breslaw, rattles of the “20 Mistakes Every Woman Makes in Their Twenties.”
First of all, generalizations like that are never cool, Anna.
Second of all, if you’re going to write an advice article for “every woman in their twenties,” you might want to check the condescending attitude at the door.
Third of all, these aren’t tips for twenty-somethings, these are tips anyone at any age can use. I know my fare share of non-twenty-somethings that will happily drop $14 on an “artisanal omelet.”
Fourth, what makes it okay to broadly assume that every 20-something who is spending time in a long-term committed relationship is making a mistake? I hear this from friends and family, and now I’m also hearing it from the magazines and publications I used to enjoy? This is simply just not okay. I’m a firm believer that people need to keep their opinions to themselves and their assumptions firmly planted outside of others’ relationships. Sure, if somebody is in a dangerous (physically or mentally) relationship, it may be the right thing to step in. But if your friend or sister or brother or whoever, seems happy, there is no reason to judge their relationship and deem it a mistake just because they are a twenty-something. Some twenty-somethings may be old souls who understand more about themselves and what they need from a relationship than any fifty-year old ever will. Other twenty-somethings may be too immature for a long-term relationship, but that’s their own problem to sort out on their own time. None of us twenty-somethings need a snobby Cosmo writer to tell us that we’re doing it wrong, especially when the basis of their argument is that “Before you settle down, you gotta get some strange. To truly appreciate the good men, you have to road test the bad ones.” I wasn’t aware there was a time limit for when it is considered acceptable to find our “good men,” because it seems like a pretty dumb idea to toss them back into the pool just because were twenty and a better one might come along. If you’ve found an honestly good partner that makes you laugh and smile on the daily, DO NOT give them up just because you’re young. I could honestly go on forever on this particular point because I take personal offense, but I will end this gripe by pointing out, wasn’t it Cosmo that declared 25 to be the perfect age to get married? Now they’re telling me I’m making a mistake by being in a serious relationship during my twenties. I’m confused… how does Cosmo expect me to get married in four years, if they also want me to dump my boyfriend and “road test” all the bad guys out there? I’d rather know the person I’m going to end up with for ten years, that way when we say “I do,” we’ll know it will last because we’ve already made it through our “terrible twenties” together. So, thanks for that relationship advice Cosmo, but I think I’ll pass.
Finally, since when is “twenty-something” a category to shove everybody within that age range into? When you title an article something like “Ten Things Every Woman Should Know By 21,” you’re honestly discrediting the diversity of us twenty-somethings and the wide range of life experiences we all have. You just look dumb, so do us all a favor and cut it out. I know this was a long and crazy rant to enter back into the blogosphere with, but the number of these articles that are out there pushing a negative image on us twenty-somethings is pretty infuriating. I’m 21, (almost 22, yikes), and I’m figuring out my life the way I want to figure it out. I’ve learned that when you ask for advice, you can’t expect to always hear what you want; sometimes you’ll get pearls of wisdom, but other times, you can get as much advice in the world, but you’ll still end up doing what your gut or heart tells you.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter, so sound off in the comments below!